Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Culmination

So...my wife and I have come to learn over the years that everyone has a superpower. No matter how mundane or uninteresting, each person possesses one gift that they can utilize for the good of mankind. My gift has always been the ability to order the right dish when we are eating out at a restaurant. Well, this week, my powers followed me back home for once, and we enjoyed the best ice cream sundae we have ever experienced together. We both agreed it deserved such a lofty title, and dubbed it "The Culmination," as in...the culmination of my superpower. So, here is what it was.
2 Scoops - Edy's (east coast version of Dreyer's) Vanilla Bean ice cream
2 Scoops - Edy's Loaded Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream
1/2 Butterfinger Candy Bar, crushed
1/2 Banana, sliced
Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and caramel sauce to taste.
I know it's cliche, but this sundae is definitely better than the sum of it's parts. The next morning, the first thing Britney said to me when she woke up was, "That was the best ice cream I have ever had."
Culmination.
Hallelujah.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Dylan's Big News

Click the video to start!

Real-Time Review: The Black Parade

Welcome to my inaugural Real-Time Review. Basically, I sit and listen to an album all the way through and review what I hear in real-time. (It's named after what it is!) All of my comments will be time-stamped for the song I am currently listening to. I have included a little music player on the top right of the blog that has the whole album, so that you can listen along as you read my incisive and important commentary. After the review I will identify three highlights of the album, indicate whether the album, as a whole, belongs in my CD collection in general, is worthy of my 30 Gig Ipod, or even better, if it merits inclusion on my 2 Gig Sansa. I will then close up shop by summarizing general thoughts that did not make it into the review due to lack of typing prowess, my lethargic thought process, or just sheer laziness.
For my first review I chose to listen to The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. I have no prior exposure to this album, outside of hearing "Welcome to the Black Parade" and "Teenagers" on the radio, and playing "Dead" on Guitar Hero II. I do have an unnatural affinity for American Idiot by Green Day, so I must admit to some bias when it comes to listening to this album. Hopefully my first reactions will prove accurate upon further listening.
Please give me feedback as you see fit, and feel free to give suggestions for what I should review next.
Here we go.

The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance


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The End
:05 – Starting with the end, clever.
:15 – I like the contrast of the hopeful, melodic music with the dark, bleak lyrics.
1:02 – clearly trying to sound anthemic, and mostly succeeding. Seems to be pandering a bit too heavily to the emo teenage crowd.

Dead
:04 – Flat-lining heart monitor in the background is the only intro to a rather abrupt transition into a much heavier song than the last.
:15 – I recognize this one from Guitar Hero II, so I blissfully play air-guitar-hero, which might be the most pathetic thing I have ever done.
:58 – I can’t quite make out all the lyrics, but dead is rather well pronounced every time.
1:20 – the loudness of the music is flattering to the lead singer, because I find myself pretty annoyed by his weird accent, which bends and twists his R’s as if he is trying too hard.
1:54 – trumpets are fun, sort of makes it feel like a Gwen Stefani remix.
2:25 – there’s that solo I can’t nail on Guitar Hero.
2:46 – Remembering that I can play this song on my bass guitar, and I can’t play bass guitar.

This is How I Disappear
1:02 – Pretty frenetic song, chord progression suggests some urgency, somewhat brooding.
1:30 – I like the layered guitars here.
2:04 – I find myself listening to the different guitar parts more intently than the lyrics, which I don’t usually do. They really pile it on pretty thick, and it’s good.
2:55 – Not too fired up about the bridge, but it doesn’t last long.
3:38 – Good “whoa-ing” going on in the background, concurrent with the guitar strains.

The Sharpest Lives
:10 – Whispering and singing at the same time, fun stuff.
:32 – Fun with the lead singer harmonizing with himself.
1:02 – I think this is available as a bonus track pack for the 360 version of Guitar Hero II, which makes me want to get it, now.
2:00 – Good little sparse machine-gun guitar moment.
2:28 – I bet this would be a fun song in concert, depending on how good these guys are live.

Welcome to the Black Parade
:02 – Oh so familiar notes on the piano heralding the biggest commercial hit of the album, and the reason I wanted to hear the whole thing in the first place.
1:05 – This is a pretty blatant American Idiot ripoff anthem, but I don’t care. Kinda wish there were more of them if they’re all this good.
2:05 – wish they would port this to Guitar Hero, but I get that the piano part in the beginning is just too long. Perhaps for some future iteration of Rock Band with a keyboard.
3:14 – I’m beginning to think that this album is all about death. I must be a genius.
3:50 – “I’m just a man, I’m not a hero.”
4:35 – While it is a great American Idiot ripoff, it just doesn’t sound as big and important as American Idiot. Something about the production, maybe the songwriting, but it’s not quite the same.

I Don’t Love You
:21 – Different chord progression, but rhythmically identical to Yellow by Coldplay.
1:32 – Chorus is kind of everywhere, I can’t catch onto it.
2:00 – I like the intensity of the guitar and drums as it picks up halfway through the chorus.
3:00 – Long, lazy guitar solo.
3:17 – Beck lent them his “Where It’s At” organ, and they put it to good use here. Wish there was more of it.

House of Wolves
:19 – Heavy handed rock intro here.
:47 – I can see this playing over some kind of vampire car chase in a Samuel Jackson movie.
1:29 – “Ashes to Ashes we all fall down/we got innocence for days.” Not sure how I feel about that one.
1:55 – Good little acapella moments in the breakdown.
2:54 – End it like you started it.

Cancer
:15 – Faith No More piano moment.
:32 – Lead singer’s voice is like guy from Rush mixed with, umm, maybe the dude from Sum 41?
1:40 – Some cello and other strings in the background give the song an almost Beatles (Anthology Era) vibe.

Mama
:27 – So far, this one reminds me of Manu Chao, weird little alternative Spanish language band. I have a feeling this won’t last.
:39 – It didn’t.
1:04 – Fun enough song, playful in the verses, hard in the chorus’.
1:36 – More death talk, this time accompanied, apparently, by Beetlejuice on backup vocals. This must be what the Black Parade itself would sound like.
3:12 – Ending sounds pretty out of place, too hard for the rest of the song.
3:35 – Somebody taught Celia Cruz how to sing in English, and they took away her meds, cause she sounds depressed! On second thought, it was Liza Minelli.
4:01 – Bringing back the “we all carry on” chorus from Welcome to the Black Parade. Way to tie it all together.
4:30 – I approve of the accordion outtro.

Sleep
:15 – Wonder what that sound clip is from.
:50 – This one vaults from a whiny guitar intro into a pleasantly melodic first verse.
1:37 – Not impressed with the chorus…They could have cut the guitar strumming in half, and it would have been enough.
1:45 – On the bright side, the lackluster chorus makes you appreciate the verses that much more.
2:52 – Piano, once again, reminds me of Anthology era Beatles, specifically “Real Love.” I have no problems with that.
3:50 – Maybe they were shooting for another stark juxtaposition here, but nothing about this song makes me think of sleep. Death metaphor again??? I think so.

Teenagers
:19 – Rhythm and style hearkens back to 50’s rock and roll pioneers.
1:25 – “They could care less, as long as someone will bleed.” Meh.
2:16 – “So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose.” Hopefully they are ironically striking back at their legions of borderline self-effacing adolescent fans, but something tells me they aren’t.

Disenchanted
:33 – Obligatory acoustic ballad intro.
:45 – Quickly evolved into power ballad. Might have liked it better if it hadn’t.
1:31 – Nope, I’m glad they beefed it up, turns out to be a strong ballad.
2:15 - If I knew more about music theory, I would probably deride this as formulaic and predictable, but thankfully I don’t, so I love it.
3:03 – Ooh, I like the chord progression in the bridge, sounded like a key change, but it wasn’t.
4:36 – Chiasmatic song structure, ending like it started like it ended.

Famous Last Words
:13 – “But where’s your heart.” I cannot stand his R’s! It might be too much to for me to look past in this song.
1:16 – “I am not afraid to keep on living!” Refreshingly optimistic defiance, in stark contrast to the rest of the self-hating sentiment from the first 12 songs.
2:45 – For a couple of seconds here it sounds a bit like that U2 song from the Batman movie, touch me thrill me kiss me kill me, or something like that.
4:35 – Lying on the irony pretty thick, song title is Famous Last Words, and yet it’s the only song on the album that doesn’t celebrate (or at least predict) death.

Blood [Hidden Track]
1:06 – Silence. Everybody wants to be Nirvana with their hidden tracks. They were the first to do it right? The first in my collection, anyways.
1:45 – Whoa, back to Vaudeville with you, Nosferatu.
2:22 – What’s with the censoring?
2:47 – “I’m the kind of human wreckage that you love.” Nice ending.


In Conclusion:
Worthiness quotient: Sansa-worthy, for a few weeks at least.
Highlights: The End, Dead, and Disenchanted.
Final Thoughts: I think that I am unfairly critical of this album due to some preconceived ideas about the band itself. I have, for some time now, worked with adolescents dealing with depression, bipolar, cutting, and other such challenges. I have noticed that a disproportionate number of these kids love My Chemical Romance, and other bands of it's ilk. I see too much of their personal dysfunction in the lyrics to be totally at peace with the message, because I know how harmful some of the thinking can be to these kids. On the other hand, I am a fiend for good music, and there is a lot of that here. This will have to be one of those albums, like so many of my Eminem records, where the music and atmosphere supersede a message with which I fundamentally disagree. Long live willful suspension of personal politics in the name of music!




Which one is the Great Pumpkin?

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Office

This season of The Office started with a bang last Thursday, and ended with a fizzle. To begin with, it was very exciting to be staring down my TiVo Remote at a full hour of this wonderful show after such a long summer. We were anxious to pick back up with some awkward romantic tension between Jim and Pam, further sycophantic battles between Dwight and Andy, and of course Michael making an idiot of himself. Well, things started off alright, but we noticed some problems arriving at the conclusion of the episode: 1) Jim and Pam are together now...what do we have to wait for now? The anticipation is gone. 2) Apparently Andy is not allowed to talk this season, big mistake. 3) Thankfully, Michael is still an idiot.
Up until this episode I had been nursing a healthy married man-crush on Pam, and for the first time ever, I felt some distance between the two of us. I'm afraid that now that they allowed her to let her hair down, wear a different shirt from the one that she wore the past three seasons, and is openly together with Jim, and even sunk to wearing tight little running pants, the mystery is gone. She may as well have been naked out there, because there is nothing left to imagine anymore. I hope that the dirty harlot buttons it up again in the near future, because I don't roll with smelly pirate hookers.
On a more serious note, Steve Carrell continues to do an amazing job as Michael Scott. His brilliance is found in his ability to screw up everything he tries to do, be more offensive than most of us could dream of being, and yet still manage to be lovable by the end of every episode. Only Archie Bunker and Homer Simpson have managed that previously, and that is some fine company. I guess we could add Alex P. Keaton to that list as well. Whatever the case, he is in some fine company, and certainly deserved the fake Emmy he received from Stewart and Colbert when Ricky Gervais didn't want his.
Unsimplified preliminary rating for season 4 of The Office: 150/200.